Monday mornings suck. Not this Monday morning in particular but, in general, Monday mornings suck. For everyone.
However, my Monday mornings aren't always terrible. I take the subway and the bus to work every morning, then I have to walk about 10 minutes to get to my building. It's not a long commute and Lord knows I could use the exercise so I don't mind it. But, on the occasional Monday, a lady I work with has to drop her daughter off at the subway near my apartment so she offers to pick me up. As much as I don't mind the morning commute on public transit, it's always a treat to have someone pick me up. That gives me an extra hour at home in the morning to do whatever I want. This morning I used that extra hour to work out and eat a healthy breakfast.
Those of you who actually believed that last sentence clearly don't know me very well.
So let's rewind to this particular Monday morning. I actually wake up before
my alarm goes off because I'm still trying to recover from the killer migraine I had last night, but I know I'm getting a ride to work so I decide that it's going to be a good day. The power of positive thinking and all that crap. Then my alarm actually does
go off and the first thing I hear is something about Jupiter, Venus and the moon all being close together tonight
. At first, the astronomy geek in me gets super excited, then reality kicks in and I realize that this is going to be a crazy day. You can agree with me or think I'm insane, I don't really care either way, but I'm telling you...every
time there is something funky going on with the moon, things just go all wonky. There's really no other way to put it. There are some days at work where every phone call I get is someone who is insane or things are just are just, well, off.
On those days, I always think to myself: "It has to be full moon tonight." and it always is. Like I said, believe me or not, the moon does crazy things to people and nothing will ever convince me otherwise.
So I'm having a good morning, no rushing around to catch the bus, and I go downstairs and wait for the lady I work with to pick me up. And I wait. And I wait. And I wait some more. By now, she's almost 25 minutes late. I know we confirmed right before we went home on Friday evening so maybe she overslept or she forgot about me or she's sick or who knows. For whatever reason, she's clearly not showing up and, by now, I'm going to be late for work if I take the bus. Taking a cab is so
not in my budget, I haven't even paid my rent yet, but I hate being late for work. I would rather be an hour early than 5 minutes late...it just throws my entire day off. And that is not the way I want to start my week so I decide to bite the bullet, call a cab, and hope that it gets me to work before the boss. This also involves a mad dash to an ATM.
When the cab shows up, I'm stressed about being late for work, I'm worried about the lady I work with, and I'm pissed that I'm spending money that I hadn't intended to spend. But I decide not to take any of that out on the cab driver so, when I get in, I'm polite and give him a friendly "Good morning" and "How are you?" Again, the power of positive thinking and all that crap. He turns out to be one of those chatty cab drivers, kind of "grandfatherly", and we get into a friendly conversation where the topics vary from the economy, to advice our parents gave us, to society's general lack of common courtesy. The conversation was all over the place but there was a natural flow to it and it actually put me in a good mood. We commiserated about how people like us, the poor schmo who drives a cab or the girl who answers the phone, may not make a lot of money but we always make a point of saying "please" and "thank you". Somehow we got on the topic of our families and he asked if I had children. I told him that I would like to have children one day but it's just not in the stars for me. I can barely afford myself, I could never afford to raise a child. The poor kid would have nothing.
Yes, I know that may come as a shock to a lot of you, but it's something I've thought about a lot ever since I turned 36 and have come face-to-face with the reality that, if I ever want to have kids, there's not much time left to do it. Men don't have that issue, they can have kids when they're 70 years old. Women, it's a different story. Whether we like to admit it or not, that biological clock does
exist. Not that I mentioned any of this to the cab driver. It was a friendly conversation but not that
Anyway, the conversation continued on to other topics and he was a very nice man who not only got me to work with a smile on my face, he actually got me there on time. So I gave him a genuine thank you, not to mention a generous tip, and started to get out of the cab when he said: "You know, I'm psychic."
I replied: "Really? And do you see good things for me?"
Now, going by the general lighthearted, friendly tone of our entire conversation, I assumed he was going to say something like: "You're going to have a good day" or words to that effect. He looked at me, very seriously, and said:"You have two years."
So I, of course, replied: "Two years for what?"
He ominously held up two fingers and said: "Two years to have a baby. After that...NO CHANCE!"
(long pause while I silently sat there and tried to process what this seemingly normal, nice man just randomly said to me) "But you're going to be a good mommy!"
Then he smiled as if he what he'd just said to me was completely normal and not something that would completely freak someone out!!
I mean, really, wtf was that? It was such a pleasant cab ride! He was such a sweet old man! Then, at the very last second, it turned into a scene from an M. Night Shyamalan movie. Who says that to someone? Is he really psychic? Did he say that just to mess with me? The Hell?
I gave him a polite, slightly bewildered, thank you and got the hell out of Dodge. Then I looked up and cursed the moon...ALREADY!