Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Sometimes it pays to talk to strangers.

I hate summer. I hate summer with a passion.

There's no hockey. All the skinny little women walk around in their tank tops with their bra straps hanging out. (Tacky!) And it's just too damned hot! Especially since I don't have air conditioning. Every summer my apartment turns into an oven. You walk in there and, within 5 minutes, you're literally dripping with sweat. It's completely unbearable. However, I just never seem to have the extra few hundred dollars I need in order to buy an air conditioner.

So yesterday I'm coming home from work and I get into the elevator with some random guy I've never seen before. He decides he wants to make small talk. Clearly this guy doesn't know me or else he would know that I hate people and never chit chat with anyone in my building. I don't know my neighbours and I like it that way. When I come home from work, I just want to be left alone. I don't want to have to make small talk with strangers. However, for whatever reason, I actually decide to be pleasant to this guy. (And, no, it had nothing to do with him being insanely attractive or anything because he wasn't. He was just your average looking dude.)

Him: Finally, the day is over!

Me: Thank God! If only I had air conditioning so I could enjoy it. It almost makes me wish I was back at work.

Him: Oh, you don't have an air conditioner?

Me: Nope.

Him: Do you want one?

So I'm wondering what the deal is with this guy. Does he sell air conditioners? Does he steal them? Is he going to refer me to a friend who owns a store or something?

Him: I'm moving out of the country in a couple weeks so I'm trying to get rid of all my stuff. If you want, I'll sell you my air conditioner for $20.00.

Me: An air conditioner for $20 bucks? What's the catch? Is it broken? Does it leak?

Him: No, I swear, it works great! I'm moving to Japan and I'm not gonna lug an air conditioner with me so I need to get rid of it. You can come look at it right now if you want.

So I figure, what the hell! But as we're walking down the hall to his apartment, I start to wonder exactly how wise this is. A woman walking into the apartment of a total stranger? That's how those stupid women you hear about on the news get killed. But when we reach his apartment, I see that his neighbours across the hall have their door propped wide open. So I figure that if this guy turns out to be some psycho murderer rapist, those people would probably hear me scream. badly do I want this air conditioner? However, after he opens his apartment door, he takes a shoe and props his front door open so problem solved. His apartment has practically no furniture in it so I guess he really is moving out of the country. That's when I start to think that this guy is on the up and up.

He pulls the air conditioner out of his closet and he tells me that he only used it for one year and he never had any problems with it at all. Even better, he says that I don't even have to pay him right away. He insists that I try it out for a few days and, if I'm happy with it, I can just slip the $20.00 under his door. He even carries it down to my apartment for me. When we get there, I insist on giving the guy his $20.00 because he just seems like a nice guy. Plus, I'm damned excited about the prospect of having an air conditioner! And he tells me that if there are any problems at all, just let him know and he'll give me back my money. So we shake hands and I thank him profusely. At that point, we finally decide it might be appropriate to introduce ourselves. It turns out that Sayid (sadly, not the hot guy from LOST) has lived in the building for 3 years but our paths have just never crossed before.

Anyway, I set up the air conditioner (which involves a long, ugly fight with the pigeons on my balcony who seem to think it's their apartment, not mine) and get ready for the big moment. An air conditioner for $20.00? It's way too good to be true. There's gotta be a catch. Like I'll turn it on and it'll blow all the fuses in my apartment and burn down the building. But I cross my fingers and push the button.


Cold air! It works! No leaking. No sparking. No blown fuses. It totally works! It doesn't really cool down the bedroom that much but it's awesome in the living room! And, believe me, I have no qualms whatsoever about sleeping on my couch for the rest of the summer. Hell, I fall alseep on the couch half the time anyway! Will it continue to work? Who knows. But, for now, I have an awesome air conditioner that I bought for only $20.00 from some random stranger who just happened to make small talk in the elevator with me, the one person on the planet who practically never makes small talk with strangers. Right place, right time, I guess.

I still hate summer. But at least I won't be living in an oven anymore!


At Wednesday, July 05, 2006 11:28:00 AM, Blogger lucy said...

So now you have to rename your blog "Damn This World And Everyone In It Except Air Conditioner Dude".

At Wednesday, July 05, 2006 11:45:00 AM, Anonymous Danielle said...

Is it wrong that as I'm reading this, I'm thinking of that Liza Minnelli song about the two people who live down the hall from one another and meet in Yugoslavia?

Congrats on the air conditioner! Yay for not having to sweat!

At Monday, September 25, 2006 12:41:00 PM, Anonymous Big Slick said...

Ring Them Bells . . . how gay am I that I know the name of that song (it's by Kander & Ebb who wrote Cabaret and Chicago and the song New York, New York)?

But I really like the story of this post. Hand of Fate and shit.

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